The Serenity Prayer... It's Not Just For Addicts Anymore

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

That prayer has taken on a whole new meaning to me in this time of uncertainty in my life.
I can't change the fact that my sister was in an awful car accident.
I can't change the fact that my sister is in New Zealand for the next few months.
I can't change the fact that it's winter and the weather SUCKS.

However, I have a choice how I can spend my days.
I'm unemployed. I can't change the fact that the job market is absolute shit right now, but I CAN work on my resume and apply to as many positions as I can find.
I can look for interim employment until I get a 'real' job.
I can stick to a budget and stretch our money.
I can take advantage of my time at home and do projects around the house.

Seriously, that serenity prayer is the only thing that got me to sleep last night and calmed my pounding heart. Sometimes, ok, usually daily, the stress of my situation feels like it's too much and I can't take it. Especially where Torey is concerned. At times it is incredibly difficult to keep my head above the water. If any of you are John Irving fans, you'll understand when I say that it feels like the 'Under Toad' is staring at me. Waiting and watching, about to come get me. Accepting what I cannot change will go a LONG way in keeping me sane these next few months.

I can't say that I will start floating through life with the weight of the world off of my shoulders. I know myself too well for that. But I do trust that the universe will take care of things and everything really will be ok.

The Universe is my version of a higher power. I used to be Christian, but have long since fallen away from that belief system. However, I still believe that there is something out there that ties us all together and makes the world right and balanced. In my eyes, that is the universe. It is all encompassing. Some people would say fate or karma, I say the universe.

This, too, shall pass. Everything will be as it should be, and I will be a stronger, more complete person as the result of this experience. I know this to be true, without a doubt. The Universe has my back.

But in the mean time... Universe, grant me the serenity....