Going Back to NZ!

I booked my flights last night and I'm going back to NZ from Feb 3rd - March 13th!

I'm so excited to go back but all of the sudden I feel like I have so much to do and so little time! Eep! I need to make sure this next week is as productive as possible.

Last night was my 'Welcome Home' party and I got to see a bunch of friends that I hadn't seen since my wedding or before. I'm really glad we put that together even tho Steve and I are worthless and hung over today. :) I'm sad that I didn't take any pictures though, what was I thinking? Oh well.

This past week was much better for my than the week before. I was able to work out some communication issue with my family and I think we're all doing better as a result. My dad is down in NZ this week and I'm so glad he can be there for Torey. He's been missing her hardcore. I think it's important that he can see where she is and understand what her day to day experiences are.

Tonight we're going to dinner with the in laws. I haven't seen them since the wedding either so that should be nice. They don't know that I'm unemployed yet, so that should be an interesting conversation. It will be fine though, it's not like there's anything I can do about it besides look for a job!

Hope everyone had a great weekend.

The Serenity Prayer... It's Not Just For Addicts Anymore

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

That prayer has taken on a whole new meaning to me in this time of uncertainty in my life.
I can't change the fact that my sister was in an awful car accident.
I can't change the fact that my sister is in New Zealand for the next few months.
I can't change the fact that it's winter and the weather SUCKS.

However, I have a choice how I can spend my days.
I'm unemployed. I can't change the fact that the job market is absolute shit right now, but I CAN work on my resume and apply to as many positions as I can find.
I can look for interim employment until I get a 'real' job.
I can stick to a budget and stretch our money.
I can take advantage of my time at home and do projects around the house.

Seriously, that serenity prayer is the only thing that got me to sleep last night and calmed my pounding heart. Sometimes, ok, usually daily, the stress of my situation feels like it's too much and I can't take it. Especially where Torey is concerned. At times it is incredibly difficult to keep my head above the water. If any of you are John Irving fans, you'll understand when I say that it feels like the 'Under Toad' is staring at me. Waiting and watching, about to come get me. Accepting what I cannot change will go a LONG way in keeping me sane these next few months.

I can't say that I will start floating through life with the weight of the world off of my shoulders. I know myself too well for that. But I do trust that the universe will take care of things and everything really will be ok.

The Universe is my version of a higher power. I used to be Christian, but have long since fallen away from that belief system. However, I still believe that there is something out there that ties us all together and makes the world right and balanced. In my eyes, that is the universe. It is all encompassing. Some people would say fate or karma, I say the universe.

This, too, shall pass. Everything will be as it should be, and I will be a stronger, more complete person as the result of this experience. I know this to be true, without a doubt. The Universe has my back.

But in the mean time... Universe, grant me the serenity....

Torey's Newspaper Spotlight

Torey was mentioned in the Daily Racing Form, a thoroughbred racing publication!

Fundraiser for injured farm worker

Friends of farm and sales worker Torey Phelps, who was badly injured in a November car crash, have established a fund to help with her rehabilitation.

The 25-year-old is undergoing intensive therapy in Hamilton, New Zealand, where she had been working at Windsor Park Stud and at Karaka Thoroughbred sales. Phelps most recently worked in the United States at Bluewater Sales and previously held positions with Lane's End's Oak Tree division, Dapple Stud, Kesmarc, and other central Kentucky facilities.

A sales-week fundraiser attended by more than 120 people at Harvey's in downtown Lexington raised almost $8,000 for her rehabilitation, according to Rosie Napier of Bluewater sales.

To donate, contact morgan.phelps.crane@gmail.com.

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Seeing that brightened up my morning. I hope to get a bunch of emails about it! :)

Pretty Productive

Today I actually got some stuff done for a change.

Went to the eye doctor, found out that Steve's insurance covers glasses OR contacts not both. So I ordered new contact and I'm going to look at Target or Costo for new glasses (read: CHEAP glasses). I really want glasses that I can wear without feeling like I'm dressed down. For so long I've associated glasses with hangovers and not showering that when I wear them I feel grubby even if I'm not. :) So, I guess I need 'dress up' glasses.

After the eye doctor I went to Target (I LOVE me some Target) and got some sweaters on sale ($6 apiece!), a drying rack for all of our sweaters :), a new cat toy/perch as a reward for being so good at the vet and my best purchase was a rattan trunk to put at the end of our bed to hold our sheets and duvet covers. I LOOOOOVE storage space.

The apartment has seemed exceptionally small recently. Probably because I'm pretty much trapped inside it all day. So, it was good to make a dent in organization. Moving the linens to the trunk frees up space in the armoire for Steve's clothing so it doesn't have to live on the floor anymore. :)

A BIG organizational goal I have is to get caught up on laundry (both mine and his) and get ALL of our clothes put AWAY! Imagine that! Steve is creeped out by the idea of me doing his laundry for some reason but he's going to have to deal with it. I want that washing machine running 24/7. I'm sure a lot of you wish that your husband was obsessive about doing his own laundry but it's not as nice as it sounds. He literally doesn't trust me not to ruin his clothes and lives in fear that they might be washed on something besides cold! Oooooooh scary!

Anyhow. It was nice to get a little bit accomplished today. Tomorrow is supposed to be -40 outside so I'm staying in and doing more laundry/cleaning/hiding under a blanket to stay warm. :)

I also managed to overhaul my blog space. What do you think?

Torey continues to do well, I don't get to talk to her as much as I'd like but that comes with the territory.

Hope all is well in cyber land.

Back to School?

Back to school....back to school...

All of this stuff going on with my sister has made me consider a career change. Do I want to be an RN, or a speech-language pathologist? Do I want to take a bunch of prerequisites (organic Chem has me running scared!) and spend 2 years in school plus a year of interning...?

do I want to let some schooling and fear of being poor get in the way of a career that could be really great for me?

so confusing.

And what the hell am I going to do in the meantime anyhow!? haha

Too much to think about at 8:30 in the morning!

Back in the USSA

Now that I'm not in charge of updating Caring Bridge anymore, maybe I'll attend to this blog some more. Hell, maybe I'll tell more people about it, just not my parents. :)

I got back to the states Wednesday night, now it's Saturday and I still feel weird about being at home. Definitely not happy about it. Part of me feels like being here is a recipe for disaster since I have no job and nothing to really keep me busy while I'm here.

I'm waiting for my wedding photos. Once I get them I can start making our wedding album which is my big plan for my time at home. But, I'm waiting for those.

I'll need some extra motivation to get work done around the house. It's so cold, all I want to do is hide under a blanket with my laptop like I'm doing now. :)

I feel like so many people have gotten pregnant lately! Congrats to you all. Hopefully I will join the club some time in 2009. It's so much to think about... wow.

Now I'm just rambling, maybe I'll take a nap. :)